| Sarah's Site | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Come here to laugh and relax!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I am a high school senior and made this site so people who were feeling the stress of the college search could come and laugh!! This site does contain jokes not appropriate for younger people please. | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| Useless Pick Up Lines and How To Ask If Someone Is a Virgin | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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I've lost my virginity. Can I have your? Want to see something swell? You make my software turn to hardware. I'd marry your cat just to be in your family. I be the necropheliac and you play dead okay? Should I wait in my car or will a closet suffice? Pez? Did you hear that sex kills, want to die happy? I'm an army recruiter, why don't you come to my place and "be all that you can be?" Coffee, tea, me?? You want to see something swell? Do you want to see my hard drive? It ain't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy. Help the homeless...take me home. I have only three months to live. Wanna play war. You lie down and I'll blow you away. -------------------------------------------------- How many people have you gone against God with? Besides your mother how many people have seen you naked? Does the words "handcuffs" and "whip" remind you of a date you had? You've heard the song "Rock the Casbah," how many times have you rocked the Casbah? Did you keep the faith like Billy Joel and made it with a red haired girl in a Chevrolet? Do you have anything in common with the Virgin Mary like the entire never had sex thing? I bet you had a lot of playthings growing up..how many of them were lovers?? Is there any chance that there are little versions of you running around?? | |||||||||||||||||||||||
| College Humor | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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The College Drinker's Alphabet of Fun | A-Alcohol- The key to surviving college B-Beer- Dinner C-Class- What you sleep through D-Dancing- Something you can't do after drinking, but provides others with entertainment E-Emergency- There's no more alcohol and no one's over 21 F-Flunking- What you're doing G-Games- You'll play anything as long as you can chug H-Hangover- Something you have 5 out of 7 days I-Ignorant- What you are when you're drunk J-Jail- Where you go after getting caught staggering home K-Kissing- What you got caught doing to a dog after a few too many L-Lord- Who you talk to when you are puking M-Money- What that?? N-Not again- What you say when you're going to puke O-ohhhh- What you say when you are puking P-Pee- What you do every five minutes while drinking beer Q-Quilt- What you puked on last night R-Reform- What you promise you'll do S-Sex- What you did with that person you met last night..what's their name again?? T-Twenty-four- How many beers you need to get drunk U-Underage- What most people in the college area are V-Vodka- Jello?? W-Worm- What you'll eat after drinking the bottle of Tequilla X-X-ray- What you get before they pump your stomach Y-Yourself- Someone who drinks WAY too much Z-Zima- Zomething different -------------------------------------------------- The Top Ten Ways To Annoy Your Roommate 10. Buy a Jack-in-the-box everyday turn the handle till the clown pops out..scream continuously for 20 minutes. 9. Live in the hallway for a month. Then one day walk in and say "Okay your turn." 8. Pretend to be on the phone when your roommate comes in. Scream obsencenities into the phone and hang up. Tell your roommate "that was your mom she said she'd call back later." 7. Collect potato chips that look like celebrities. Find one that looks like your roommate and burn it and say "it had to be done." 6. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day put a Band-Aid on your head and refuse to speak of the gun again. 5. Trash your roommate's side of the room when their not there. When they walk in look surprised and say "it looks like THEY were here again." 4. Every time you wake up scream "Oh my God!! Where the hell am I??" and run around for a few minutes. When your roommate asks you about it say that you have no idea what they are talking about. 3. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it larger everyday, and keep saying, "it's spreading! it's spreading!!" 2. Watch Psyco everyday for a month, then suddenly get excited when your roommate goes to take a shower. 1. Buy a toaster. Pray to the toaster and bring it offerings. Throw away some of your roommates stuff and tell them that "the toaster made me do it and we must do what the toaster says."
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